Heartbroken

I knew when we decided to start a family that part of having children would include some heartache a long the way. Tonight was a perfect example of that. Londynn started dance a couple months ago and tonight was her first dance recital. We invited the grandma's and grandpa's and and some aunts and uncles to come watch her dance. I warned everyone that I wasn't sure if she would actually get on stage and perform but we would love to have them come anyways. The big day finally arrived and Londynn was fully aware that if she got on stage and danced that we would reward her by going to the store and letting her chose out a new barbie. She was so excited. Jared and I were actually both nervous for her all day. I just wanted her to participate and enjoy the experience with the other girls.

As part of there dance costume there was a flower for there hair (on a band). The moms decided that instead of wearing it in their hair they would wear it on there wrist as a bracelet instead. There is a reason for me sharing this, just stick with me. So we put it on Londynns arm and was set to go. Her class lined up ready to go on stage and Londynn surprised me and let me go sit in the audience. I thought all was good and she was actually going to dance. I sat in my seat with butterflies in my stomach for her. The curtains opened and there she was. Not a moment after the curtains opened Londynn started running for the side holding her arm, pulling her hair band off. It was obviously bothering her. I thought she was just going to give it to her teacher and return to the stage but instead she started crying. The teacher tried to get her to return to her spot on the stage but she wouldn't. There she stood on the edge of the stage crying while the others girls continued to dance. I was heart broken for her. Not only because she didn't dance but because I knew she was expecting a new barbie.

When the dance ended I up met her out in the hall and gave her loves and asked her what happened. All she talked about was how the flower was hurting her arm and then asked if she got a barbie. I felt like the mean mom telling her no barbie. I totally understand the fear of getting on stage. I'll admit she gets it from me, but how could I not reward her for the effort? So we did. We took her to target and she got to chose a treat. Definitely not a barbie, but hopefully next time. If my heart aches for her at this age I can't even imagine what it will be like when she is a teenager.

Here are the girls lined up and if you look closely you can see londynn making her way to the side.

...and here she is on the side of the stage where she stayed.